


You're Awful, I Love You

by Dance_Elle_Dance



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Angst, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Romance, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 11:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4874275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dance_Elle_Dance/pseuds/Dance_Elle_Dance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He realizes he loves Blair Waldorf one night while he's staring out the window, and he observes that the stars look just like the sequins on her many, many headbands. (Originally posted on 12/17/10.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Awful, I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Re-post of yet another Dair fic, basically going over his developing feelings through S1-S3. I really like this one, looking back on it. Please enjoy!

He first meets her in a flurry of emotion and excitement and _Serena van der Woodsen._

She's the best friend, the constant, the uppity and high-strung and very _commanding_ friend of the lustrous, perfect bombshell that he's happened to snag.

Dan thinks she's pretty. In a classic movie type of way, not in the way that Serena is. Because at that moment, all he lives and breathes involves the supernova that is his girlfriend.

He notices that she's insecure, despite her bold words and flashy clothes and famous mother. She wants people to think that she's this cold, ice queen. The Queen B. The B that could stand for Bitch or Blair. As far as he's concerned right now, the two are synonymous with each other, since she's tried to split he and his princess up so many times now.

He's not sure what his first impression of Blair Waldorf is, but he remembers it isn't a good one.

\---

His next encounter is in the stairwell.

They actually have a small heart-to-heart. Dan tries to give his best advice, and he thinks that she might actually listen. She's more broken than he's ever realized before. The word "insecurity" can't even be used to cover what she is anymore. What she has is something far different. Her envy of Serena is something that he's never seen before, and frankly, it's quite sad. It tugs at his chest, and he can't even imagine why he feels sympathy for someone like her.

However, his Serena-goggles are on, and he can't help but believe that his golden goddess has done nothing wrong. Nothing to merit this intense dislike.

He's not sure if that's the truth now, or not.

\---

He finds himself looking at her.

Dan doesn't know why, but he finds her alluring. Even in one faint moment, one that he'd never tell anyone, no matter how hard they tried to weasel it out of him, he finds her more attractive than anyone in the room. Even Serena.

Then she opens that mouth of hers, and...yeah. The thought vanishes.

The thought might leave him, but the image remains.

The image of her in that slinky black dress still lingers. With her hair curled and styled and the headband firmly in place, and her soft brown eyes varying from intensity to relaxation, it seems like she's perfection.

But he sees the way Chuck looks at her, and the way Serena looks at him, and that erases whatever fantasy there was to begin with.

\---

"So, she dumped your ass, huh?"

Dan stops, looking at the direction of the voice to find the face that matches those weighted words. "I broke up with _her _," he says, as if that makes the situation any less embarrassing than it already is.__

__Blair cocks her head to the side and lets out a scoffing laugh. " _No_ , no, you didn't."_ _

__The writer crosses his arms and leans the majority of his weight on one of his legs. "Really? That's...not how it went down." He wants to so badly let out a smarmy retort, but he really isn't in the mood for it._ _

__"Obviously," Blair says, the superiority in her voice never dying down, "you're wrong."_ _

__"And how is that?" Dan challenges, and he can feel the fire coming into his gaze. Blair, of course, doesn't flinch._ _

__But when she speaks, a funny little note comes into her voice, and Dan can _feel_ the resentment coming off her in waves, " _Nobody_ dumps Serena van der Woodsen."_ _

__\---_ _

__Soon, he and Serena are on-and-off, and she and Chuck are...well, he doesn't know what is up with their game-playing and manipulative ways. And, frankly, he doesn't want to know a thing about it._ _

__The strange thing is, though, he _cares_._ _

__Of course, he always envisioned Serena as his endgame, and Blair and Chuck always seemed that way, too._ _

__No matter who they date, or who is higher than who on the social scale, he doesn't want this strange, enigmatic, cunning woman to get hurt._ _

__Dan questions his sanity more than once._ _

__\---_ _

__She's going to NYU._ _

__It's strange that after all her scheming, Blair Waldorf ends up at NYU instead of an Ivy league like she so wanted. It's strange, and yet fulfilling when he doesn't want it to be. He doesn't want to be glad that Blair had to settle, but he is...deep, _deep_ down._ _

__It fully hits him when he sees her moving in. He's helping Vanessa with her things, and sees Blair marching down the halls, Dorota in tow. Obviously not wanting to actually _help_ get things into her room._ _

__He tells Vanessa to give him a moment, and he goes down the hall into the room designated as _Waldorf_ territory._ _

__"Overworking Dorota, you think?"_ _

__Blair turns from hanging some poster of Audrey Hepburn and gives him a look. "Dorota's _fine_ , Cabbage Patch."_ _

__At that moment, the aforementioned maid comes bustling into the room, looking tired and out of breath. "Miss Blair...I..."_ _

__"You're fine, _aren't you, Dorota_?"_ _

__Dorota looks startled before answering, "Maybe if take break, Miss Blair..."_ _

__Dan looks over at Blair with a smirk gracing his features. "I'll be glad to help."_ _

__"No, Humphrey, we don't need your help," Blair snaps, looking at him like he's got leprosy._ _

__"Miss Blair, there are at least twenty boxes out in car, still."_ _

__" _Dorota_!"_ _

__Dan's smirk only grows wider as Dorota takes his hand. "Miss Blair doesn't want to say, but she would like help."_ _

__Dan follows Dorota out of the room, and gives Vanessa an apologetic look as he sees her unpacking boxes. She only laughs and continues to straighten her bedspread._ _

__He can feel Blair's gaze on his back, even when they are outside._ _

__\---_ _

__She doesn't fit in._ _

__He's not surprised. Blair doesn't fit in many places - especially places where _couture_ and _backstabbing_ aren't involved._ _

__But he feels bad for her. So bad that he actually stops by her ill-advised sushi party, just for a second, before making his way back to the movie party Georgina and Vanessa had thrown together._ _

__Dan sighs when she comes in, angry that no one wanted her Upper East Side way of things._ _

__She just doesn't understand._ _

__But, then again, if she did, she wouldn't be Blair Waldorf._ _

__\---_ _

__Georgina was first._ _

__He hates to think it, but she seems normal at the time that he slept with her. Which should have been a warning sign that she was even crazier than usual, because Georgina Sparks is never normal._ _

__That relationship ends as quickly as it starts, but then there's Olivia._ _

__Olivia was a bright ray of sunshine, normal where Serena was not. Friendly. No drama, no extra strings, no double meanings or secrets kept._ _

__Still, somehow, he found his way to Vanessa._ _

__Vanessa is great, vibrant and quirky and new and familiar all at the same time. His best friend and girlfriend. It was almost like he was getting the best of both worlds with this, a special package just for him. And they fit together better than he ever thought they would._ _

__Still, there's just something about Blair that he can't shake._ _

__The way that she could be so vulnerable and yet so guarded at the same time._ _

__He hates that when he looks at his girlfriend, he sees someone else._ _

__When he should see light, light eyes and inky, dark hair, he sees caramel eyes and waves of soft brown._ _

__\---_ _

__He hears through the grapevine that Chuck exchanged Blair for the hotel. To his uncle. His creepy, insidious uncle._ _

__The rage he feels when he finds this out is incomparable._ _

__And, yet, she takes him back._ _

__Blair takes him back, and then finds out that he betrayed her in the worst way._ _

__\---_ _

__He punches Chuck Bass._ _

__He puts everything he has into it. For his sister, mostly. But there is an underlying cause, one that he never thought he would have._ _

__Dan can't believe that Chuck would do that. He is shocked that his sister did what she did, and even more so that she did it with _him_. Dan isn't sure of the motives, or anything really. But he wants to believe that this time Blair would realize that she deserves someone better. That she doesn't need to _settle_ just because she believes she's as bad as Chuck is._ _

__Because, in reality, she can't be._ _

__Dan believes that, beyond everything else, Blair is a good person. Maybe Chuck was, too, but he just can't see it right now._ _

__He just wants her to be happy._ _

__\---_ _

__He calls Serena just as she and Blair are getting ready to leave for Paris._ _

__Serena sounds happy, as usual. She's a single woman, as is Blair, and he can hear her voice chiming over the line at him, spewing happy words and his last name rolls off her tongue with no trace of the hatred she gives him on a daily basis._ _

__He finds that he likes it - the sound of her voice - more than he should, and it causes a strange thudding to come from his chest. His racing heart betrays everything else._ _

__It's not because of Serena._ _

__It's because of _her_._ _

__\---_ _

__He realizes he loves Blair Waldorf one night while he's staring out the window, and he observes the stars look just like the sequins on her many, many headbands._ _

__\---_ _

__There is nothing he can do about it, though._ _

__She's still getting over Chuck, and he's still...well, _Dan_._ _

__He can't deny the fact that now, whenever he tries to write a story, they all end up revolving around a petite beauty with brown eyes and a sharp tongue._ _

__Dan Humphrey hopes that when he decides to tell her one day, she'll accept him without pretense._ _

__And, if she does, he'll do his best to make her the happiest she's ever been._ _


End file.
